Monday, May 29, 2006

Crazy Mama

Call me morbid, mad or xiao. Whatever.

But I am the kind of mama who will find my baby's cries so cute that I will let her continue crying while I videocam it down. Then replay it again & again so that I can laugh at how cute her crying was. It's the same with the poo-ing. While joey was trying hard to push her poo out, I will be snapping away with the camera because her facial expression is just so adorable. You would have seen many of my creative works in this blog. Haha! So that day, I was trying to force her to change her sleeping posture to what I feel is more lady-like & resembles her mama more. I did succeed for 5 minutes before she woke up in discomfort & screamed her way till I put her back to her usual posture. : ) I've got proof:

* Incase u are wondering about the green socks: Yes, it did give me headaches for a while because I could find no clothes that can match it. So, final conclusion is that joey will only wear them at home until I buy her something green to wear. :)

Sunday, May 28, 2006

I Am A Blessed Mummy

Met many people in church yesterday. Meiting Godmother finally saw Joey with her eyes open! Can you believe it? 7 weeks already leh. And so happy to see Abi and Dawn too! So long no see le!!! :) 1st time they saw joey too, so I am sure joey's very happy to see so many new faces. hey meiting, it's the first time she's seeing you too wor!

Also met Denise & Irene after service. They were my group mates when we went to Medan for mission trip 2 years ago. I only realised how blessed and fortunate I am when Denise told me stories of her night feeding with her 2 kids. She was telling me that for her elder son, he woke up every night at 2am and 4am for his feeds until he was 1 year old and before he hit 2 years old, he still woke up once in the middle of the night for his feed. OMG! I am so thankful that seven-week-old joey now can sleep till at least 5.30am after she is fed at 11pm or 12 midnight. Sometimes, she wakes up only at 6.30am and she goes back to sleep till 10am. Indeed I am blessed! *phew*

The weather is so cold today. Has been pouring since morning. But good for joey, cos it's so cooling for her sleeping in the cot in the living room. Maybe that's why she still has not woken up for her milk.. :)

We have slowly realised that joey might turn out to be a talkative and active gal. Why? Because since she started to make sounds besides crying, she has been making all kinds of funny sounds. And alot of them! All the woos and ahs and ohs and ang-ge-ges. And she has figured out how to stick her tongue out, thanks to her mama. (don't scold me. I read a magazine about how important it is to teach my baby simple actions like that now, so that she'll know what imitation is all about.)

She can also make a sound that sounds like 'chet' by pressing her tongue against her lips. Of course, the pouting of her lips and knitting of her eyebrow into a frown still continues. She learnt those when she was 2 weeks old already. The best thing is her smiles. She has been smiling alot nowadays. Especially her eyes. They really light up everytimes she is preparing to smile or smiling. We call them 'smiling eyes'. heehee.. so fun playing with her nowadays...

Poor gal, we made her wear such a BIG tee.. :)

Friday, May 26, 2006

Joey is a Good Gal

Viola! Finally for the first time last night Joey slept through the night! *clap clap clap*

She last had her milk at 12 midnight and she slept all the way to 6.30am! And after feeding her, she went back to sleep till 9.30am! So Mummy Klessis is very refreshed today. But actually, even though she did not wake up in the middle of the night, I woke up several times just to check that she's OK.

Call me paranoid but ever since the day she was born, i have been worried about this scary thing called Sudden Infant Death. It hits young babies and can happen anytime in their sleep without any apparent reason. And it doesn't help when books say that medically, there's no cure or prevention for it. Just got to make sure that baby can sleep without any obstructions nearby. Even though joey can already flip her head to sleep on her right or her left at her own will when she was 2 weeks old, I still must check on her frequently just to play safe.

So since the sun is shining so brightly today and Mummy Klessis has had enough sleep, i might just bring joey out later to Causeway Point. *No orchard road for the time being because it's too crowded for her and she just had her jab* Got to buy her a sweater or cardigan so that she can wear in the office nursery because it's super duper cold inside! Anyway, Mothercare is having 50% sale on autumn/winter collection, so better get it now! The Great Singapore Sale is good! :)

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Day & Night

Thank God Joey survived her first day after her jab with absolutely no fever at all! Her appetite is still good and she still sleeps as much, in fact better than the past 2 days. She has a little bit of diarrhoea though, but i'm not even sure if it's diarrhoea cos she did not pass motion many many times, just once yesterday morning and early this morning, both more watery than usual but still alright.

And I think she is beginning to realise the difference between day & night. During the day, she will fidget a little before going back to sleep after her milk and she'll automatically wake up every 3 hours. But after her last feed between 10pm-12 midnight, she will only wake up at about 4-5am, about 4 to 5 hours apart. And after her feed, she will fall back to sleep immediately. This is really good news for me because I will be going back to work soon and I really will need more quality sleep. I pray she will get better & better and will start to sleep through the night soon.

That day in church I was chatting with Jiahui about our baby's sleeping patterns. She told me that En en had already started to sleep through the night when she's about 1-2 months old, but after she fell very sick when she was about 6 months old, all her sleeping habits were disrupted and she went back to the schedule of waking up every 2-3 hours in the night, like a newborn. Oh my, that's really tiring for the mother.

Imagine being pulled wide awake when you are in deep slumber by the crying of your baby. And the next thing you know, you are scrambling to get the bottle, hot water, cold water, milk powder, and at the same time mumbling under your breath that you wish your still-sleeping husband will finally wake up to pacify the baby. (Oh, I'm not referring to my husband of course. I'm referring to OTHER PEOPLE'S husbands. Isaiah usually wakes up faster than me during the night cos I am just a sleepy piggy.) All these done when you are still half asleep.

Anyway, I am adjusting better to my lack-of-sleep-lifestyle I hope. It used to be that during the day, I'll be quite zombified and wish I can sleep & sleep but cannot, cos still got to watch over joey and wait for her feeding time. But now during the day, I am quite awake and can afford to skip naps altogether. There're exceptions of course. Sometimes I can take many small naps during the day. hee hee..

Oh, did i mention that I only saw joey's BCG scar yesterday at the clinic?? I've never seen it even though the nurse at the hospital mentioned to me that she's had her BCG injection on her 2nd day of birth. Nowadays, the BCG jab is no longer on the arm, but on the buttocks. And Dr Jane showed it to me yesterday. I can't believe i missed it all the time when I was bathing and changing her for the past 6 weeks! But it's quite cute lah, just a small bump.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

1st Jab

We brought joey for her 1st immunisation jab today. She's 6 weeks old now and Dr Jane says that she's big enough to start her jabs even though some babies got to wait till they're 2 months old.

Took her vital statistics. As at today, she weighs 5.4 kg (a bag of rice!) and measures 57cm long. So she's grown taller by 6cm since birth and weighs a whopping ton now! No wonder nowadays after carrying her for a period of time, my hands will go numb.

It was quite funny because for a split second when the needle went into her thigh, she did not make any sound, and I was still thinking to myself how come she's so brave. Then immediately after that split second, she went into a loud wail! And she wailed & wailed (but changes from a 'ah-so-painful' kind of cry to a 'boo-hoo-I'm-such-a-poor-thing' kind of cry.) even after the injection is over. So poor thing, I was telling Isaiah. Cos when adults go for jabs, at least they're sort of prepared in their hearts when the needle goes in. For babies, they would be just sleeping peacefully when suddenly a painful sensation occurs out of the blue. Catches them totally unawares.

See the little wound on little's joey's little thigh:

Thank God she immediately fell asleep upon reaching home and she's still sleeping now though it's past her feeding time by almost 2 hours. Think she's just very exhausted or maybe the jab is taking its effect on her? Anyway, I am monitoring her temperature every hour incase she runs a fever. Usually babies get fever after their jabs, so got to keep watch over her. Doc Jane prescribed some liquid panadol for her incase she runs a fever. So poor thing, got to feed her the medicine using a syringe!

I pray she'll not get any fever at all, in Jesus' name. I also pray that she will sleep peacefully & get ample rest. Thank you, Jesus.

Drama @ the Clinic

Date: 23 May 06
Time: 10.30pm
Venue: Clinic @ Sembawang MRT
Involvement: Daddy isaiah, Mummy Klessis, Grandma & Doctor

Doctor: What's wrong with her?
Mummy Klessis: She couldn't sleep well the whole day, and her hands and legs are very cold.
Doctor: Emm Hmm.. and ?
Mummy Klessis: And her forehead is also very cold.
Doctor: How is her appetite?
Mummy Klessis: She's eating well, as per normal. Bowel movements also normal.
(Doctor proceeds to take joey's temperature using ear thermometer and checks her with a stylophone)
Doctor: Temperature is normal. There's nothing wrong with her.
Mummy Klessis: But.. but.. she's breaking out in cold sweat. Are you sure she's OK?
Doctor: There's no such thing as 'breaking out in cold sweat'.
(Doctor starts looking impatient.)
Mummy Klessis: ........
Doctor: Your first child? (Tone: Sarcastic)
Mummy Klessis: Yah.. Ermm.. if she has a stomachache, how can I tell?
Doctor: She can't tell you herself she's got a stomachache, so you can only know if she has diarrhoea or vomiting.
Mummy Klessis: Oh...
Doctor: There's nothing wrong with her. No need for any medicine.
(Doctor's face turned a nasty grey.)
Mummy Klessis: Oh... ok... thank you..
(Mummy, Daddy & grandma proceed to leave and paid $18 for consultation fees for what the missy said, 'assurance')

Joey has been very irritable these 2 days. She refused to sleep in her cot, and will fall asleep only in my arms, only to stir 10 minutes later again. If she's in the cot, it's worse. She'll start crying after 5 minutes. By evening time today, her whole body was quite cold and her forehead especially is cool & she's breaking out in cold sweat. Just to play safe, my mother in law said better to bring her to see the doctor. And old people say that when a baby's forehead is cold, that means she's having a stomachache. So we went to the only clinic open at such a late hour. The above captured the gist of my conversation with the doctor.

I must complain! This doctor is very uncompassionate, I must say. Firstly, he did not even bother to ask how old joey is, and only ritualistically performed what he needs to do as a doctor. And obviously, he was impatient to leave the clinic and felt that we were wasting his time because we were the last customer and to him, joey was obviously not sick. Did it occur to him that I did not go to medical school & thus would need his professional advice & assurance that my baby is alright, and therefore I went to his clinic? Sigh.

And what does he mean by 'there's no such thing as breaking out in cold sweat?' If don't have, how come got that phrase leh?? *bewildered*

And please! If my baby has diarrhoea or vomiting, OF COURSE I know she is sick la! ANYBODY can guess the baby is sick by then, right?! By then, do I still worry about her stomachache? I should be more concerned about her vomiting & diarrhoea liao! Sigh again.

Oh well, what else can I say?

On a lighter note though, the three of us walked out of the clinic laughing at ourselves while simultaneously complaining about the uncompassionate doctor. Joey also laughed along with us that we are 3 gan cheong spiders. Wahaha.. But I think joey did enjoy her little ride out in this cool night. Cooped up the whole day at home probably made her frustrated. A report that joey is alright and not sick at all is of course better than the doctor telling us she's sick somewhere. So, never mind the drama lah.

I forgive the uncompassionate doctor. God bless him.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

21st Birthday Present

I decided today to make a video clip to give to joey for her 21st birthday. I know that's 20 years, 10 months and 2 weeks later, but never mind lah. :)

Child Matters

If you read the newspapers yesterday, you would have heard about the kidnapping case that went all wrong in Malaysia. The 7-year-old boy who was kidnapped by his own uncle was fed 5 sleeping pills and as a result died of overdose and strangling. The photo of the boy's feet sticking out from the suitcase he was packed into & thrown into the river was a horrifying and heart wrenching sight.

I guess as a mother now, I have a deeper understanding of the loss the parents are probably feeling now. The pain of losing a child to diseases is one thing, but losing him or her to unnatural causes is another dimension altogether. Especially when the child was murdered brutally. I remembered Huang Na. The whole of Singapore mourned together with the mother.

Coincidentally, the past few days, I thought about the issue of feeding sleeping pills to babies. Not that I am thinking of feeding them to joey of course (God forbid!), but I just thought that many people probably thought how good an invention it is if there're special pills for babies that can put them to sound slumber so that they can get some good quality rest. The whole of yesterday, joey was fidgeting and tossing in her sleep. She'd fall asleep in my arms but the moment I put her back in her cot, she'll wake up again 5 minutes later. And it went on like that for the whole day.

Then a scary thought came to my mind. If I leave my baby in the hands of a maid, would she feed my baby sleeping pills just to keep her quiet so that she can get the housework done in peace? I am definitely not prejudiced against maids, don't get me wrong. But I am saying that people can do extreme things when they are caught in a situation. A crying-non-stop baby can cause some degree of distress, especially to outsiders. Parents can still tolerate no matter how bad, but outsiders? That's why personally I will never engage a maid, unless I know there's another family member looking after baby together with the maid.

Life will never be the same again. Everything I do, joey got to be my primary & top consideration. As we have been saying in our family these few days, everything that we do, even if the methods are different, our objective is still the same - that is, to give joey the best and to protect her.

Monday, May 22, 2006

2 more weeks

I can't believe I am now standing at the threshold of my 2nd last week of maternity leave. Before I gave birth, I can even smile in my sleep when I think about the LONG BREAK I'm going to have. But now, it just feels so NOT ENOUGH.

I had wanted to take all of the 3 months initially, but advices from friends tell me that I should just take 2 months, then use the 3rd month bit by bit as & when I feel I need to spend more time with baby. And also allowing her to join the office nursery sooner can help her to adapt faster because as she gets older, her habits will be more defined and she'll recognise her environments more.

But actually I don't really feel that sian about going back to work. In fact, I kind of miss work already. I miss my colleagues and I miss the hectic and always-rushing-to-somewhere life. Haha.. Mad klessis. But I think it's also good to report back earlier, so that I don't just waste another month doing nothing much at home.

I want to start doing something constructive with joey soon. Like flashing flashcards, reading her stories, etc. But the problem is my darling is always either drinking her milk or sleeping. There're very few instances where she is awake and not crying. At best, she can only manage to stay awake for 10 minutes before she will get impatient and start crying and want to sleep. She's such a sleepy baby! If you've been reading this blog before I gave birth, you'd know that my gynae commented many times that she's a sleepy baby. Sleeps all the time! Now also the same!! sigh..

Anyway, later I'm going to bring her to walk walk at Sunplaza. Cos there're some things I want to buy and it's good to bring her out to jalan jalan too! Joey loves to go out. Oh, that's when she will stay awake most of the time without crying. I think there're just too many things to watch. Haha..

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Rubber Stomach

Joey has a rubber stomach. This one, she definitely got it from her daddy.

Sometimes she can drink 150ml of milk and get hungry again barely 2 hours later. Sometimes, she can endure for 5 to 6 hours before her next feed. Just that day, she drank her milk at 9.30pm and went to sleep, only waking up at 4am for her next feed. I was watching her at 12 midnight thinking she might wake up anytime crying, but she did not. So I fell asleep watching her, only to be awoken at 4am, much to my surprise.

And today, like many other days, she would start crying for milk every 2 hours. I almost couldn't believe that she's crying for milk when she started crying and refused to make her any milk until she was crying beyond control. Sigh. What a rubber stomach she has!

O well, actually the most important thing is that she feeds well and grows fast. Whether it's 2 hours or 5 hours, it doesn't matter. :)

Anyway, joey was a good gal in church today. She just slept and slept and woke up at the right time for her milk, then went back to sleep again. No trouble at all. Really good gal. I pray she's like that all the time. And we saw Francis & Cheng's baby boy. He's 3 days younger than my joey and he has got dimples!

After service, my parents picked us up for lunch at Tampines and we visited Nigel at the SK store he was working at. He looked so miserable that we were shopping happily while he had to continue working. haha..

I was so tired that I slept all the way in the car on the way home while my mother happily carried joey. She even offered to go for service together with me next Sat and she'll take care of joey in the nursery while I attend service! Woo yeh!

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Shopping @ Orchard

We brought Joey out for shopping today at Orchard. Dear Dear had to attend a two-hour seminar at Orchard Hotel, so while waiting for him, I walked joey all the way from Orchard Hotel to Heeren in her new stroller. (Poor thing, she looked so grumpy in the photo. Haha)

It was quite a good walk because I haven't been out in the sun for so so long. It being Sat, there were many people in Orchard and for the first time, I was out alone with Joey. The few times we've been out, my mum-in-law was always with me. But today it's really my 1st time going out alone. It was fun because there were people along the way who will smile at joey, or smile at me because of joey or whisper among themselves that she's so cute. Haha..

The scary thing was that I left Orchard Hotel without a single shilling or penny in my pocket. Cos I haven't been out for so long alone, I forgot that I have no Isaiah to rely on for money. And I was so thirsty! It got worse after walking such a long distance under the hot sun. But God is truly a God who meets every need, no matter how small. Just when I was lamenting to myself what a sad life I have, I noticed that many people walking in the direction towards me were all holding a similar canned drink. Immediately I thought that someone must be giving out free drinks infront. And true enough! It was a Dutch Lady promotion for their new Iced Cafe Latte drink! Of course like a true auntie in every sense, I walked up to one of the pretty gals and asked for my free drink. Every mouthful went in with a grateful heart. Thank you Jesus.

But do not forget our God is a God of more than enough. Just 100 steps and a pedestrian crossing later, there was a Starbucks guy giving out free drinks as well! Promoting a new drink on their menu, he was carrying a huge tank on his back and dispensing cups of coffee to the passers-by. Come on, I have seldom seen free drinks given out on Orchard Road. And to have 2??! God is really good. Haha..

Then we met up with Pst Lillian because she said she had something to pass to me. It's a lovely denim dress she bought for Joey from overseas! Nice!

Friday, May 19, 2006

It's a Roller Coaster Ride

Motherhood is a roller coaster ride. I am sure it's different for every mother, but for me personally, it's been alot of ups & downs in my emotions.

One day I may feel very happy & proud that I can pacify joey and put her to sleep when she refused to be put into her cot and wants to be carried. It's such a joy when she falls asleep in my arms because I know she feels safe and secure in her mother's arms.

The next day I may feel at the bottom of the pit when she will wail and wail and refuse to sleep even after I have tried every way & means of pacifying and calming her down. I will feel so discouraged & disheartened when she will keep crying when I carry her but immediately calm down when her grandmother or father carries her. Thoughts of whether my daughter dislikes me or prefers others to me will keep creeping in. At the same time, I feel so lousy of myself that I can't successfully stop her cries.

Then the next day I will be elated again when she smiles when I call her and will stop crying when I cuddle her. And it goes on and on like that everyday for weeks and months. I probably prayed more during this time than I've ever prayed in any part of my life. Whenever she cries, I will also 'cry' out to God to HELP ME! What a roller coaster ride it's been! haha..

But I do know it's all in my own mind. Joey probably doesn't dislike me. She probably does know I am not another auntie, but her own mother. Maybe it's just the way I carry her that makes her uncomfortable. Maybe my voice is too high-pitched and she's soothed by lower voices. Maybes, maybes.

It's funny, but when I become panicky or nervous when I cannot pacify her, she seems to know and will cry even more. That is why sometimes it's so hard to calm her down and I will feel like crying myself. Not because of anything, but simply because I can't bear to see her cry so hard and so much. It's easy to blame myself in times like these. That I am so bad at pacifying my own baby that she got to cry so much & take in so many gulps of air.

Joey is colicky, I think. She has all the symptoms of a colicky baby. She will on most days cry and make a fuss only in the afternoons and evenings. She has alot of gas in her stomach and she keeps stretching herself, especially her legs. A pity the website tells me that there is no way to cure a colicky baby and it will gradually wear off when she reaches 3 months old and by the 4th month, she should be alright. But I am praying everyday and claiming God's healing on her that she will not need to go through the phase till so long. I believe God can heal joey and make life easier for me.

That's motherhood for me. A series of roller coaster rides. But I pray everyday that God will teach me how to be a good mother. How to pacify Joey. How to know what her every cry mean. How to meet her every need. How to make her more comfortable. There're so many things to learn and catch on that I need every inch of wisdom I can get. O God, please teach me!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Underwater Gym

We opened up 1 of Joey's present for her to play. It's a gym playmat with an underwater theme. Joey doesn't look like she knows how to play with it yet, so got to educate her by moving her hands to touch the rattles. Look, she's trying to figure out what daddy & mummy are trying to do by putting her there..

But I think she did have fun because she smiled & smiled.. hee..

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Passport Day

Today we brought Joey to ICA to have her passport made. That's her getting ready to leave the house this morning, all dressed up!

We think her 'baker's hat' makes her look like the mushroom in Super Mario Bros nintendo game. What do you think?? :)

Anyway, it was quite an experience taking her photo because she could not sit up straight yet. But the lady at ICA held her by the back and let her sit in a mini chair while I went to a small cubicle directly infront of joey and behind the camera and tried to catch her attention to look straight ahead. We finally managed to take a photo of her. But oh man, her hair is so messy & she looks so grumpy that she had to sit up so straight! :P heee.. so funny right?!

After making her passport, we went down to Centrepoint Robinsons to look at the stroller we wanted to get for her. The sale is really good! 15% off and extra 5% more for members. Saved us hundreds of dollars! We're asking a friend to buy for us using her Robinsons card tomorrow. I am really happy with the stroller because it's easy to open and close, compact and comes with an additional car seat add-on. The colour's nice too in black & red. Cool..

Then it's time for some rest at the cafe. I took some photos with joey who has changed her clothes by now because her diaper made her clothes wet! Don't buy Huggies! It's really not as good as Pampers. It was good to have friends give us different brands of diapers so that we can compare and choose what to buy in future though. :)

Monday, May 15, 2006

1st Trip Back to Mama's House

Today we brought Joey to my parents' house at Pasir Ris. It's Joey's 1st trip back to her the home that her mama used to stay for 10 years! It was a belated Mother's Day celebration for my own mama, and my mama decided to cook dinner herself. Here's Joey getting ready to leave the house earlier on..

Do you like joey's new hairband? Her hair's getting too long and messy that I cannot stand bringing her out in that kind of unplanned-for-toussled-look. And since my mother in law says that babies will shred off some hair when they are about 3 months old, we wanted to wait till the shredding off before we trim her hair for the 1st time. Till then, we just got to keep her hair in check by making her wear hairbands. I bought 3 at one go for her! Haha.. and it's cheap because I didn't get them from baby accessories shop. I got them from the usual adult accesories shop Chameleon! hehe.. only about $2 per piece. Cheap & nice. : )

My daddy very nice. Came to Sembawang to pick us up to Pasir Ris and even insisted on driving us home again after dinner. I get to enjoy free rides because of his precious grand-daughter joey. haha.. he can't bear to see his daughter & grand-daughter wait outside for cabs. hee..

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Smiles Captured

Smile Joey Smile!

Today Dear Dear went out with my mother in law to town to buy joey her stroller. The one that our friend gave us cannot be used because the hood was lost, and it's kind of difficult to bring her out in a stroller without a hood, especially when the sun is so hot here. So all alone at home with Joey, I decided to take photos of her. See! I captured many of her smiles! Lovely, isn't she?! *proud mummy grins to herself*

We have been calling her by her chinese name Yixuan, so she will smile when she hears her name. Haha.. but that only happens after she had her milk. That's when she will start playing with us.. other times, she's usually sleeping.. or frowning.. haha..


I am so very very touched by the book jesse written by Pst Chris Pringle. Frankly, it's a very simple pictoral book with few words, yet the simplicity of it adds to the beauty of the whole journal. I have never had a miscarriage before, but even for me, reading the first few pages brought tears to my eyes.

Jesse was Pst Chris' firstborn who was never born. I found a statement she made so impactful and powerful. "The babies who were lost are being raised up strong and happy in heaven by the angels and they are waiting eagerly to meet their mothers in heaven one day." Tears just well up in my eyes when I read that. And I think it's such a great comfort to women who have lost their babies before, either through disease, miscarriage or abortion. It is such a great comfort to know that their babies are not forgotten and that God has saved every single one of them in heaven. I cannot imagine how it was like when God gave Pst Chris a vision of her unborn son who has grown up to be a happy adult. It must be like meeting someone she knew very well, but never really saw before.

But a question also came to my mind. Since unborn babies are raised in heaven by God, does it mean that mothers who are non believers will never get to meet their unborn babies? I think so, because they will not go to heaven. Then I am sure their unborn babies are praying hard everyday in heaven that their unsaved mothers will be saved one day so that they can be reunited.

Someone very close to me had a forced abortion many many years ago when I was still very small. She got pregnant during the time when she just went through a series of injections for Hep A and many people including some doctors told her that it's likely the baby will be abnormal because of the jabs. As a non Christian at that time, she went ahead with the abortion for fear that the baby would be problematic. I know she has never stopped blaming herself all these years. Though she didn't really blame herself for taking the jabs, but I guess deep in her heart, she never really knew if abortion was the right decision or whether the baby was really abnormal. I think I will share with her this story. I am sure she will feel so much happier knowing that her baby is waiting to see her in heaven. I will also get to see him or her in heaven.

And as I was flipping through the pages, I kept looking at my daughter joey. She is really God's gift to me. I never really appreciate how good God has been to me on this aspect because I've had such a smooth pregnancy. It seems all have been taken for granted. But as I read the story of jesse, I realised that it is truly God's goodness that joey is healthy and strong. It is the blessing of God that I have got a beautiful daughter without much complications. As I think about that, all her whining, cries and noise don't mean a single thing now. As long as she's growing strong in the Lord everyday, that's more than enough for me.

"They cannot come to you, but you can go to them." ~ Pst Chris, jesse

Happy Mummy's Day

It's my first Mother's Day this year. Ask me how I feel? Hmm.. frankly, I don't feel anything special, but I did feel a little awkward when the ushers started passing me a mother's day gift in the nursery.

Time seemed to fly by in the past month. Before I gave birth, I thought that my 3 months' maternity would be such a long long break. But now I am already into my 2nd month of maternity leave and it feels like I am going back to work soon. Especially when I've decided that I might go back after the 2nd month and take the 3rd month as & when I need to take care of joey. Everyday just seemed to zoom past so quickly that I cannot believe it.

Although I am so busy with joey everyday and doing almost the same few things - feed her, change her clothes & diapers, pat her to sleep, talk & play with her - but everyday is a bliss. It's fun taking care of my own daughter of course. Even those moments when she wouldn't stop crying were also fun in its own way. Of course there were times when I felt alittle discouraged because I couldn't pacify her, but it's a very rewarding job, I must say. I am enjoying every minute of it.

It's quite a fun experience spending my first service back in the nursery with the other mothers and it being mother's day as well makes it all the more interesting. As I was observing the other babies and mummies, I realised that all babies are the same actually. Their behaviors are so similar. And the way the mummies respond are also very similar. haha.. very interesting.

I am so happy that Pst Kong decided to give the book 'jesse' as the Mother's Day gift this year. I had wanted to get the book for quite some time, but didn't get down to it. I feel so blessed that I can get it as a gift this year!

And my cell group was so sweet! They gave me a box of sweets & a card for my first Mother's Day! Geez... hehe.. my cell group members are also like my own children nei..

Happy Mothers' Day to all mothers & mothers-to-be!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

1st Time in Nursery

Today is Joey's 1st church service. She almost slept throughout the whole service and I was so proud of her obedience until she started to cry towards the end of the service. It was normalcrying though, because it was time for her feed. I was still thinking to myself that everything would be good and she will just go back to sleep after a smooth feed. She did have a smooth feed and just fell asleep for 5 minutes before she started to cry SUPER LOUDLY.

So loudly that many of the mummies in the nursery all turned to see what happened to this little gal. The helpful nursery workers all tried to suggest that maybe she's hungry, thirsty, sleepy.. etc etc.. and no amount of coo-ing seemed to be able to pacify her. She just kept crying and crying at top volume. Finally we all decided that maybe her milk was too little and she's still hungry, so frantically I tried to make another bottle of milk. But she refused to drink & just continued to scream at top volume!

Finally after much guesswork and alot of frantic moves by yours truly and the nursery workers, she cooled down and decided to drink some milk. Just when we were about to leave the nursery, as I wanted to change her diaper, we realised that she had POO-ED! What alot of poo that was! No wonder she was crying non-stop. She always cries and makes a fuss when she's about to poo. No wonder. Sigh.. but I did take a pix of her in the nursery today.. before the whole crying saga happened...

Her Face Changes

I was looking through all of Joey's photos again this morning and I realised to my amazement that joey's face has changed quite alot since the day she was born. Of course that's only natural lah..

Firstly the water retention in her face and places like her eyelids have subsided quite abit, and her hair has grown so much! I find her face slightly leaner & longer as well and her eyes appeared smaller now than birth. Do you agree with me??

Friday, May 12, 2006

Good Joey

Met my parents for Taiwan porridge today. It's the 2nd time we brought joey out and her first time out in her pushchair. We were kind of apprehensive whether she will behave because her feeding time was right smack in the middle of our mealtime, but thank God she was so well-behaved that she just stayed quietly in the pushchair throughout the meal and even took a nap in the car while travelling!

Good gal in her pushchair while we ate..

Feeding joey her milk...

See my mama's expression! She's so cute! wahaha...

For She's a Jolly Good Fellow...

How to Use this HUH?

Ok I admit it. I know I shouldn't assume i know EVERYTHING. Well, most of the time I DO, just that when it comes to joey's stuffs, most of the time I DON'T.

There is this baby sling that my good friends bought for me. I had wanted to get one, but kept procrastinating. Thank God my friends bought them for me, so I don't have to buy myself anymore. I THOUGHT i'd know how to use the sling. How difficult can that be??! But when I tried it on the other day, it was harder than I thought!

Firstly, the instructions were not useful at all. Looks pretty impressive on the box though. 8 ways of carrying baby in it. But no matter how I tried to tie it, joey looks super crammed and uncomfortable inside. She has that bewildered look on her face, as if asking me why I am squeezing her inside this bundle of cloth. She probably thought I was going to wrap her up like a dumpling. And her whole body is skewed and looks so unnatural that I can't bear to leave her in the sling any second longer. Sigh.. Is joey too fat? Cannot be right?? It must be the way I tied the sling.

I think I'm going to bring it to church tomorrow and ask the other mummies in the nursery how to use it...

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Poo Look

Joey is very cute. Whenever she wants to poo or when she is poo-ing, she has a certain distinct facial expression. We all laugh whenever we see that look on her face because it's so funny! It's also good, because we'll always know when she wants to poo and we can help her by making the umm umm sound.. heeee...

When she's in the midst of poo-ing, her forehead will cringe together as if she's deeply concentrating on something very difficult. Then her eyes will well up with tears and her mouth will turn into a perfect ring as if she's saying.. "woo.." .. haha.. it's so cute! See the photo for proof~

Very cute right?? Hee hee..

Today Joey wore a new bodysuit, courtesy of dunno-who.. sorrie if it's from one of you reading this, but we could find no name on the box.. Anyway, it's really so so cute! There's even a bear face on her buttocks!!

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I'm Getting the Hang of It

Finally after one month as a mum-in-training, I now feel like I've got the hang of taking care of Joey. Of course there were still times I don't know why she's fidgeting and crying about, but generally everything seems under control. At the beginning, there were times I felt so sad because Joey will fidget and be uncomfortable when I'm feeding her, but when her grandma or daddy feeds her, she'll be very obedient and finish up all her milk. I even wonder if she dislikes being carried by me. I guess it could be because of my bony hands which makes her uncomfortable sometimes. Cos I haven't really perfected the position to carry her so that she's comfy. But now, I am getting much better at that and every feed is a breeze.

And it's getting more fun now because Joey can sort of recognise her name. When we call her name, she will sometimes smile at the sound of it. And when we play with her or nibble and kiss her fingers, she will also break into a wide grin. She also loves to stare and smile at her musical mobiles that's hanging on her cot now. I think she likes the pooh bear one better, Maybe it's a gal & soft toy thing. : ) It's really satisfying, knowing that she now has a greater awareness of her surroundings. There were some occasions when she was 'laughing' so heartily that there's sounds of giggles and her whole body shakes alittle.. haha.. so cute!

Anyway, today I bathed her successfully again, and this time really all by myself. Hehe.. Totally no crying from Joey today, so I think I'm really getting there (smile proudly to myself). I have some photos as proof that she looks really comfy after her bath. See!

And she got so comfortable that she fell asleep soon after that.... ZzzzzZzzz...

Monday, May 08, 2006

More Presents

Joey received many presents on her baby shower. Most of them were cute pink little dresses and tees. There were so cute! No time to show every single piece, but see the string of pink clothes that we washed!

Joey's godmother, Meiting ah-yee bought her a reclined stroller! We probably can't bring her out shopping in this, but it's meant for at-home use and short walks downstairs. So cute! It's even come with a pull handle in the front to pull it along as Joey sits in it!

Joey also got her 1st musical instrument! It's a cute set that allows her to play music while lying down, sitting up or even standing up!

Joey's uncle, aka my brother Nigel and his girlfriend Katherine custom-made this nameplate for Joey! It's now hanging on her cot. Hehe..

Joey's 1st Outing!

Today we brought Joey out for her 1st shopping trip since she's already one month old. But we didn't go far, just went to Causeway Point Crystal Jade to have lunch, then walked around the shopping mall.

Joey was such a good gal. We made sure she had her milk and had poo-ed before bringing her out, so she just slept throughout the lunch. While we were having our delicious porridge, yam ball and lotus leaf chicken, we let her sleep on the cushion seat next to us on the diaper changing mat. Haha.. cos we didn't bring any sling or stroller out, so that's the best way to let her sleep and let us eat without having to carry her. It was a good breather to be out finally! :)

Shower Photos!

I found some photos in my camera on yesterday's baby shower. Most of them must be taken by the great photographer qingyuan! : )

It was a cool & nice day. :)
Big Hand . Small Hand

Uncle ziwei & little joey

Fei & Von & little joey

N252 gals

The E335 gang

The old friends club

Caught in her sleep


Yep. I have finally graduated from the Basic Course on Childcare today (clap clap). This morning was my final examination and the topic was 'Bathing a Child'. Yep. I finally bathed Joey all by myself today! (well, of course my mum in law did lend me a hand now and then, BUT i did most of the bathing myself.. so... )

He he he ...
Graduated with honours.

Joey's Baby Shower

Finally Joey is one month old! Haha.. but that's still a long way to her one year old birthday, to her 1st day at nursery, to her first day in Primary School, to her wedding day... etc etc.. It's really just the beginning. I'd like to think it more as a farewell party that I've thrown for myself to say a big fat goodbye to my confinement (in every sense of the word).

So we had a small party at home and invited some friends over. Thank you all for coming and blessing Joey. We truly feel so blessed by everyone of you who took the time to drop by. Hope everyone had fun. : ) I feel obliged to apologise on behalf of my mischievous daughter who refused to wake up even though everyone tried every ounce & energy to wake her up. I think she's just pretending to be a good girl who sleeps and eats and does not bother mummy.

This is of course absolutely untrue because the moment all the guests left, she started to scream & make noise (which is really her true nature). And her eyes were wide open! And I mean wide open open. (sigh)

But much to the disappointment of many of you out there who so evily predicts that she will not sleep at night since she's slept so much during the day, let me just laugh in your face first (HAHAHAHAHAHA!). After making a small amount of noise last night, she went back into her deep slumber and has been sleeping soundly all through the night. I just fed her again at 5am and now she's soundly asleep. Hallelujah! hehe.. (laughs somemore)

Another piece of bad news though. In the midst of all the fun, we forgot to take photos of the baby shower! Sigh sigh sigh.. But bro Khen Theen did manage to take some very interesting video clips of some cell group leaders hailing how nice the durian puffs made by my mummy were (You guys are really very good, i think she probably couldn't sleep last night thinking about how much people appreciate her talents. Thanks for building up her self esteem. =P)

I think I can only take photos of the presents Joey received then. Will upload them when they're ready! And maybe the indiscriminating video clip!

Friday, May 05, 2006

Aiyoh.. what a Headache

Nope, I did not attempt to bathe Joey again today. That's because my darling caught a chill! This morning when we woke up, we found her sneezing and her breathing was loud because of her runny nose. So we quickly brought her to see our GP - Dr Jane.

Thank God her runny nose was not serious and after putting some nose drops, she's almost totally OK already by now. It would have been disastrous if it developed into a cough or fever. Then she'd feel so uncomfortable and we will have no peace.

Dr Jane weighed her and found that she's now 4.7kg! That's an increase of 1.3kg since birth and Dr Jane said that's quite a feat and she's in the 90th percentile of babies at her age. But also expected la, since she drinks so much milk. At less than one month old, she's already drinking 130ml of milk every 2 & half to 3 hours. That's about double of what most babies at her age drinks. So I guess if she's not putting on weight, we'd have to worry. Thank God also that her appetite and bowel movements have not been affected, so can at least put our hearts at ease.

Since I have also been sick for at least 4 days now, I also asked Dr Jane to examine me. It's weird because I will always have a fever everyday around 5pm onwards all the way until the midnight or the next morning, and my appetite is bad. During the day I am still fine, so it's only from evening onwards for the past few days, and my temperature can get as high as 39 degrees.

So after examining me, Dr Jane said it's because I haven't been drinking enough water & fluids! And that's true because I really haven't been drinking water because old people say drinking water during confinement is bad and will cause bloatedness, and i can't take too much sweetened drinks too because of the sugar content. But I guess from today onwards, I'll just have to take lots of water and heck care the bloatedness..

Thursday, May 04, 2006

The First Shower

So far, I've done everything I need to do for Joey as a mother - feed her, change her diapers, change her clothes, burp her after feeding, play with her, carry her, coax her to sleep, calm her cries, etc etc. But one thing I've not done so far is to bathe her. Hey, please don't think this is easy feat. Especially for a woman who has gone through C-section, bending down is a very difficult thing to do during the healing process. And a fidgeting baby and wet hands make it worse.

But today I decided to take a step of faith to bathe her! Oh man, it was quite an adventure. (but of course, don't expect any photos here, because firstly I AM the one bathing the baby, where got time to take photos of myself?? And fat hope I'm going to keep indiscriminating evidences of a frantic and almost-went-mad mother trying to bathe her daughter for the first time.)

It started off pretty well, I must say. I did all the correct preparation. Closed the windows, off the fan, on the heater water in the bath tub, standby towels and change of clothes, put some shampoo on the side of the tub. Then I brought Joey into the bathroom and happily wet her hair with the small towel soaked in the warm and nice water, like how I always see my mother in law do. So far so good. In came the shampoo on her hair and then washed off. Joey was even smiling. He he.. Chey! Who needs to learn how to bathe a baby??!

Then my mother in law came into the bathroom, and she was happy to see that I am bathing Joey myself.

"So have you wiped her face yet?" she asked casually.
"Opps... I totally forgot!"

Aiyah, the first thing to do is to wipe her face cos once I use the towel to wash her hair, it'll become oily, and it's not good to wipe her face using that. And I forgot & just went ahead to wash her hair. Sigh.. so got to go take another towel to wipe her face.

Then came the most challenging part - to sit her in the bath tub. There is a special way to hold her when she sits in the bath tub so that she doesn't slip down. It'd be disastrous if she really slips into the water. Not only will she wail till the roof comes down, she might not want to bathe anymore in future. Here's when I got frantic. How to hold her?? Even though I observed many times already, I still didn't know how to hold her properly and she seemed uncomfortable and fidgety. So, finally I gave up and my mother in law took over, and I observed with all my might once again.

Well, I will try again tomorrow. Tomorrow will be better. : )
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