Friday, March 09, 2012

Life Lessons I Learnt As A Mom

Becoming a mom made me a different person. I discovered different facets of myself through this life-changing experience. Some were nice surprises, others just painfully true.

I guess motherhood is something God wanted me to go through, so that I pick up life’s lessons along the way. It’s God’s way of making me face my weaknesses and flaws, and also appreciate the goodness that He has put inside of me as a person. Being a mom means I cannot run away from things I am afraid of, or ignore things that I feel uncomfortable with. Simply because I need to be there for my kids all the time, and I need to be an example to them. Sounds insane, but it’s insanely true.


My 6 years as a mom were filled with lots of frustrations and a lot more laughter. It was nothing short of fulfilling in every sense of the word. I’ve definitely grown through my experiences, and today I stand as a wiser person, compared to six years ago.

1. A promise is a promise.

Kids have this amazing ability to remember the smallest thing you promised in passing. If I promised to bring them to the swimming pool or the playground, I have to do it no matter what. A broken promise will only kill trust, and it’s important to maintain that trust between our kids and us. On a daily basis, my kids would take turns to call me from home, telling me to buy this and that, and at the end of the day when I reach home, they ask me for all those things they asked for and I said OK to buy. “Where’s my watermelon?”, “Did you remember to buy cheese?”. On some days, I need to go out of the way to get what I promised, but a promise is a promise, and needs to be honoured at all costs. Of course, there are times when I really cannot fulfil my promise, and that’s when I have to sit my kids down and explain to them why it was not done. I usually make sure I fulfil it somehow in the coming week.

2. I am not a superwoman.

I used to think that as long as I put my whole heart to it, anything is possible. That was pre-kids days. Now, I have to juggle my many tasks everyday, and on some days, I just have to admit that I cannot handle everything so well. There are many occasions when I would lose my cool on my kids, give up trying to be patient and nice, or admit that I got to rethink my priorities simply because I cannot handle everything all at the same time. For a person as proud as me, I need to humble and admit I am not a superwoman.

3. My kids are more righteous than me.

This is factually and biblically true. While I sometimes think it’s ok to bend some rules or ignore some laws, my kids watch me like a hawk. In their dictionary, a rule is a rule and must be adhered to at all times. Interestingly, they are stringent with me and VERY RELAXED with themselves. They can always watch cartoons a little longer, play with the IPAD a little while more, eat a little more Mamee and candies and sleep a little later. But for mummy, I shouldn’t dig my nose, scratch my itchy mosquito bites, eat too much potato chips, drink too much cold drinks or sit too near to the TV. They have the makings of good policemen.

4. I must stop blaming myself.

The moment you become a mum (or a dad for that matters), it’s like you took on a 1989847324239847932874-ton baggage on your shoulders. Everything now becomes your responsibility and duty. I’m not just talking about the mundane stuffs like feeding or diaper-changing here. Whether the kid is too fat or too skinny, it’s your problem. Whether the kid falls sick once every few days, it’s your problem. Whether the kid does well in school, it’s your problem. Basically, you get blamed for everything gone wrong with your kids and people from every notch & corner would question you about every hair and mole on your kid. It took me quite a while to realise that if I want to stop feeling lousy all the time, I should stop blaming myself. Kids fall sick and fall down – It’s normal. The constant I-should-have-done-something-better syndrome doesn’t help.

5. I can be more gracious.

Truth be told, I am a mum with a nasty temper. I flare up easily and can afford to be 500 times more patient with my kids. But every time after a major scolding session, the kids take all of 3 minutes to forget that I was a Tiger mum, and continued showering their love and attention on me. It was as if the scolding didn’t take place (for good or bad I don’t know). They forget the bad easily and would keep repeating stories of our outings or movies we’ve watched together. My kids taught me to embrace the positive in life, and forget the not-so-nice. Be gracious to people even if they’ve been less than gracious.


It seems that my kids teach me more things in life than I teach them.

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