Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Our Kids Made Us Stronger Together

Some people tell me that once the kids come along, their husband or wife takes a backseat, and the kids are now the most important people in their lives. I do not agree with this mentality, and am glad that it is quite the contrary for me. Ever since Joey was born, the bond between Isaiah and me strengthened, and it's as if a transformation of some sort took place, and we were never the same again from that moment onwards.

I am a hopeless romantic when it comes to certain things. In my opinion, there is nothing more romantic than having a kid with the man I love so much. When I look at my kids, I often wonder and marvel at how amazing the whole deal was - These little people belong to us! Not anyone else, but just the two of us. It's been 10 years since we got married and 7 years since we became parents, but here and there, I still have such thoughts coming to me, making me feel all warm & fuzzy.

After I gave birth to Joey, I wrote a heartfelt blog post here. Apart from the whirlwind of emotions I was feeling no thanks to post-natal hormones, it was the first time I felt such an intense love for the man I married. Having had to go through an emergency C-section and thereafter, an excruciatingly painful recovery in the next few days that followed, I was just very grateful and thankful to God for putting such a wonderful man in my life. I guess it's true that we never really see how blessed we are, until we have to walk through a difficult situation in our lives. He was by my side and going through everything together with me, and that gave me tremendous courage. I was not alone, and I know my husband will not allow me to go through anything alone either.

Having kids meant that we have lesser time on hand for ourselves and for each other. We became busier, but that made us treasure the precious time we get to hang out with each other more. Whenever there is an opportunity, we would go for dinners alone and just spend time talking to each other. I can empty out whatever's in my heart and know that he understands how I feel and what goes on in my mind. That, to me, is the best food to the soul. It is comforting to know there is someone who accepts me for who I am, despite all the weird thoughts I have in my mind. :P

Bumming and stumbling through this parenting journey together has made it all the more meaningful. We are not perfect parents for sure, but at least we have each other to share our joys and heartaches with. Little things that the kids do or say make us look at each other and smile, knowing exactly what the other party is thinking about. There is this lucid understanding that never existed until the kids came along.

I say, having kids definitely made us stronger as a couple. It is not true that our kids would inevitably take the place of our spouse. Putting in effort to spend quality couple time together, and putting each other as priority always would not only deepen your relationship as husband and wife, but also as parents to your kids. My conviction is that we can be good dad and mom when we are first good husband and wife. For that, I would give it my best shot.


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